Thursday, August 22, 2019
personal development

by Dr. Terri Simmons

Many times in business we start slow because we think we need someone to hold our hand and show us the way, even though we already know the basic rules to the game. It’s when the game changes that we seem to look back and at the same time try to run forward with the crowd and wonder why the crowd is so far ahead.

For many of us it forces us to throw our hands up and sit on the sidelines and contemplate quitting. Past wins are not enough to stay in the game and quitting really isn’t an option. So how do we gather our wits and make all that we have learned work so that we can catch up with the crowd?

Here are a few steps to accelerating the rules of the game for our team, even our team of one!

  1. Leave: You cannot accelerate with the weight of the past hanging on you. Get out of your comfort zone and leave it behind.
  2. Get Busy: There is no such thing as boredom in a person who has things to do. Do not stand still. Make a list of things that must get done and people that must be called and do them.
  3. Moment: Do not miss the moment. Procrastination and excuses will do that. Seize it.
  4. Find the Way: There is always a way if you want to get it done. There is one way mapped out just for you and only you can find it.
  5. Know: You must know who you are and what you alone are supposed to do. You are unlike anyone else. To copy anyone perfectly will only render you second best.
  6. Conquer Distractions: Change your focus to conquer distractions. Don’t look behind and don’t look to the past. Past victories are a trap and a set up for a setback. Focus on your current journey, get a strategy and move only forward.
  7. Give: Give and you put yourself in a position to give more. You are to be a blessing over and over. You have been in a place of need because you have been in a place challenged to give. Give out of your own need.
  8. Listen: Clues to what is going on and what you need to do are happening every moment. You have two ears so that your listening will be clearer. Quiet yourself so that you can hear.
  9. Follow: Great leaders leave great footsteps. And because of that it’s not hard to understand which way to go. Look at the imprint, place your own foot in the steps laid by the masters and you will go in the same successful directions.
  10. Lead: You already have so much information, experience and knowledge inside you. Lead yourself forward while you are on your road to your promised land.

Fine tune each of these points as you build your army of believers. With all diligence, patience, tenacity and with keen focus you will be further than you expected and will begin to build a team that is running with you. Get Going.

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As the Athletic Director and head coach of the Varsity Soccer team at Ryerson University, Dr. Joseph is often asked what skills he is searching for as a recruiter: is it speed? Strength? Agility? In Dr. Joseph’s TEDx Talk, he explores self confidence and how it is not just the most important skill in athletics, but in our lives.

We cannot teach people anything; We can only help them discover it within themselves.” ~ Galileo Galilei

Whatever you are feeling inside will radiate outside. If you’re feeling loving, people will sense it. If you’re feeling insecure, people will sense that as well. Before leaving your home, meditate on how you want to feel and people will treat you accordingly. Where in your life are you currently experiencing abundance? If you are having trouble finding abundance in your finances or material possessions, you can find it in the spiritual sense until you do. Do you experience a feeling of richness in an intimate relationship? In a close friendship? While sleeping peacefully? While visiting one or both of your parents? While exercising?

All of the above experiences contribute to abundant living and you are blessed if you have access to one or all of the above. Abundance is not just about what you possess in life; it is about what you thoroughly enjoy. The more you recognize abundance in your spirit, the richer your life will become and you will be surrounded with more than you’ve realized before.

However, even when you are living the most abundant life you think is possible you must always stay hungry for more. Not necessarily more in quantity, but more in quality; namely, the quality of your connection with others. You must genuinely want more for others and take action to make that happen. What are you currently doing intentionally to help other people that brings you joy? If you can’t think of anything, you are not living your best life but that can change this very moment.

People who sacrifice their own happiness to help or care for others are not flourishing. We were never created to be doormats or martyrs; We were created to be cheerful givers of love and life. Creating an abundant life starts in your heart. Lead and heal your heart, correct and empower your life.

Excerpt from the upcoming book, “From Bags to Riches: Overcome Emotional Baggage.”

Click here to pre-order yours NOW: http://www.javonasmith.com/#!products/c1e0a

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By Dr. Terri Simmons

The College life experience will teach you many things like, how to be independent away from home, how to make money stretch or how much of a mistake it is to wash colors with whites. It also can teach you how irritating and annoying people can be in the beginning, but somehow they become your life-long friends. College life doesn’t come from text books or classroom lectures.

Above all college life allows you to define yourself.  With the help of independence, your new found freedom, and many “first time experiences” this is where you choose your ideologies and perceptions about the world.

With so many memories and lessons learned, it might be surprising that there are a few things that were missed. Here are 10 life lessons that you won’t learn from years at the learning institution but rather you learn these on the streets of life.

1.   Course work and class work are just for the classroom.

Life begins well after school.  You are taught that to have a good life you must go to school and get a good education and then get a good job so that you can have a good life. Everything that you learn in life is never from the classroom. Life is made up of hands-on experiences. The more life, the more hands-on, the more experiences. No classroom.

2.   In life, respect is earned.

Your supervisor on your job may be younger than you and you must call him “sir”.  A college junior may be older than a college senior, yet that elder must respects the rank of that senior. But in real life, respect, no matter the age, rank, or level must be earned. Watch your walk and your talk, there is always someone watching…always.

3.  Real development comes when school is done.

You may had been able to dodge developing yourself in college but in real life, you will most certainly come face to face with yourself at some point. It’s up to you to decide what you will do when you meet you. Will you turn and walk away or will you introduce yourself and get to know the person whom you’ve avoided all of your life? The person whom you’ve been portraying is not the real you, but rather who you have wanted people to think you are. If you take the time and go through personal development, you can give yourself and those around you the perfect gift; the real you!

4.   Reading people

In college you make friends as often as you change your classes. Some of them you keep in touch with because of the common organizations you were part of while others fade into the background. In real life you have to learn the real motives behind the kind words at the office. You have to develop two sets of eyes and ears to see and don’t see and hear what is actually being said along with what is being said. It’s a skill that is a trial and error of the heart skill. It’s a leather-chest skill. Once you’ve attained that leather-chest, check to see if you are still breathing!

 5.  Cool and the gang

In college you and your friends can play and fight and argue and come back together and even work cooperatively to get a project done. Go out, forgive and forget and begin again as buddies all over again. In life, people take you at what you say not what you mean.  They count it from your heart not from your heat. In college your friends count it from your head not from your heart. College is a time of sheer stupidity.  A world epidemic!

6.  Rubbing shoulders

In college your world is made up of your college friends but in life you cannot survive without social connection. Whether it be job referrals, real estate referrals, business referrals you need connections which really means you need relationships to get along in life.  You may not need the people you meet today but when tomorrow comes along, you will be glad you kept their business card!

7.  Wins and losses

You will learn a lot in college except what joy rides to take and how much money to save. Your paycheck will always speak to the next adventure but practicality will also speak. The louder will win and college doesn’t teach you to recognize the voice of either. While you learn to determine who wins, you have to learn to live with who loses.

8.  Follow up with action

Romance in college life is all about sweet words but in real life actions speak louder. You are judged by your actions which follows your words. What you might say is good but what you do or didn’t do behind what you said carries a heavier weight.  Be a man/woman of your word but follow it with action. That’s the entrance into everything that you do in your life. If you can’t follow up your own words with action, then what do you really have?

9.  Mistakes are fine

In college it’s expected of you to ask the same sill question over and over until you get it. But in real life if you ask the same question over and over, even if you didn’t get it, you will be labeled as “slow.” Mistakes serve to teach you what you don’t know and it’s fine to make a mistake just as long as it’s a new one each time you make one!

10.  You will never arrive.

In grade school, you wanted to get good grades. When you got to high school you wanted to be popular. Once you reached college, you wanted to be famous. When you got your job, your next aim was to get a promotion. After being promoted you wanted extra vacation days to spend with family, and so on. Life moves on and on and every moment you have new expectations and aspirations. Be grateful for every step and don’t miss the sun. If you are so busy reaching for the next level you will miss the little joys. Keep moving forward, smile and know that you will never arrive at a destination.  You are forever on a journey.

Many people do not believe they can do what they want to do in their lives.
Whenever they get close to something they really want, they do something to sabotage it.
Some people get so close to what they want only to give up just before it happens.

Does this sound like you?

Perhaps, you are a fairly confident person overall, but can somehow relate to the feeling of being afraid to go after what you really want. With this type of mindset, you hold yourself back. Furthermore, you may be unnecessarily holding the world back from your gifts or talents. You may have developed a habit of believing that your deepest desire is out of your grasp.

One thing to start working on to change this habit is to build up your confidence. Confidence cannot be easily given by anyone else – it is your own responsibility to do this for yourself. Confidence can be learned, but there is a process to it.

Here are 4 ways to begin this process:

1. Explore your inner child
Children do not yet know what they don’t know. They are secure with themselves and are not concerned with anyone judging them when they cry or fall. They are only concerned with what they want, and will do just about anything to get it.
The key to this exploration is self-awareness. Learn to focus your thoughts on what you want instead of what you don’t want.
2. Focus on your strengths
What is it you do really well, that makes you happy, and serves others? When you know this, you know where your strength is. Some of us have multiple strengths, and that is great! Building your strong points will boost your confidence and bring you a sense of fulfillment when you see how it helps other people, and they verbalize their delight.
3. Expect success.
Without realizing it, we all have some expectation of our futures. Many of us expect failure, and so we fail. But have you ever thought about what will happen if you expect success? I don’t know, maybe you may just succeed!
Being optimistic about the future increases your performance and creates the desired outcome(s).
4. Take confidence with you everywhere you go
When you go out into the world, the world responds to how you feel, simply because we often subconsciously display our feelings in our body language, voice, clothing, etc.
When interacting with others, it is important to emulate a confident person, if you also want to appear confident.
Watch the things you say about yourself, to yourself. Your inner critics have thus far kept you from your ultimate goals. Stop listening to them.
Watch how you carry yourself. If you speak too quietly, you will feel and look less confident, so stand up and enunciate your words with conviction and clarity. If you slouch or shrink yourself, it will be difficult for others to respect you. Instead, research confident body language and incorporate the ones that fit the personality you desire.
People will treat you how you treat yourself.
If you are more confident in some areas more than others, borrow some of that confidence and use it!
For example, you may feel your confidence is minimal in professional situations, but do really well in your personal relationships. Bring to mind the feeling you get when you’re doing well in a close relationship. You may be insecure when it comes to love, but have the most rewarding friendships. Allow yourself to conjure the feeling you get when you’re around friends. These positive thoughts will help boost your confidence in areas of lack.

Always you remember you are just as able and valuable as anyone else, despite what you have so far achieved, regardless of the mistakes you have made. Keeping that in your mind is the initial step to believing it in your heart. Don’t just reach your potential, surpass it.

Written by: Javona Smith
www.javonasmith.com

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by Dr. Terri Simmons

Included in the word charismatic are the words charming, interesting, dynamic, engaging, appealing and the like. Here are a few key essential nuggets to obtaining many of the attributes that are linked to success and being well preferred in the winning arena of life and the overwhelming acceptance of others.

  1. Charismatic people let others see and feel their positive mental attitude which took them years to develop. They are of great character and make the daily conscious choice to be positive, despite life’s many challenges, which sets them up for success.
  2. Charismatic people take great care in speaking in a welcoming tone of voice. To communicate well, the best communicators speak deliberately and confidently, which gives their voice a pleasing sound.
  3. Charismatic people listen closely and give complete attention when someone is speaking with them. Listening carefully and engagingly can only be done from a true-blue heart. People remember sincerity and like being around genuine people. People also remember when they have been lectured to and steer clear of egocentric people.
  4. Charismatic people operate from continued self-control. Being over the top to the left or the right always gives clues to others that there is a level of instability which can mar the reputation. Silence is always golden.
  5. Charismatic people have patience. Weighing out just when to do and what to say plays a huge part on great character and great wisdom with people.
  6. Charismatic people broaden their thinking. Tunnel vision and tunnel thinking limits every opportunity for growth.
  7. Charismatic people always have a pleasing expression when engaging with others. It brings the walls down and opens the welcoming gates.
  8. Charismatic people don’t always have to comment. They know that the truth will always win out even if it’s not directly spoken by them at that moment.
  9. Charismatic people don’t waste their time. They manage their days. 24 hours is already set in stone for everyone. Procrastination kills progression and speaks to all the people it affects.
  10. Charismatic people do something positive for someone else at least once a day. Great deed doers don’t expect a return, that’s what makes them great.
  11. Charismatic people look at the cup as half-filled and not half spilled. There is a lesson found in every activity, especially in failure. They embrace failure all the way to success.
  12. Charismatic people give open and honest praise. They are not afraid to give others the genuine spotlight and equally they privately discuss difficult matters immediately as to make sure there is not an undercurrent of tension on either part.
  13. Charismatic people always have and trust in their mentor. They listen as well as hear with willing ears the corrections needed and the wisdom given by those who know more.

There can always be more attributes of this type of dynamic and interesting person listed. Really charismatic people are as successful as they are genuine. They have worked on their mental growth over a long period of time which has afforded them the luxury of truly liking and being comfortable with themselves first which then spills over into the company of others. They have a confidence and a belief in themselves which speaks loud and clear in every aspect of their life which makes them enjoyable to be around. The bottom line is charismatic people make the choice to engage in growing and learning and living daily and be grateful while doing so. We can all learn to be more charismatic in our lives.

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As we live our lives we figure out early on what we can and can’t get away with. If we don’t arrest that information, it becomes a growing seed for the foundation for our character. Our own character can work against us if we don’t recognize that it must be groomed by positive meditation, information and communication on a continual basis.

There are so many negative influences in our world that encourages cutting corners, schemes and getting something for nothing. It is our daily responsibility to build on our character and rid ourselves of the constant negative character information that we continually receive.

 

  1. Character is at the seat of our moral being. Good or bad, it’s who we are. Constant influences add to it and enhance it. When we recognize that we are fragmented in our character, whether from childhood or trauma, we are now mandated to make the corrections.
  2. Character must be developed. It is our responsibility to read books that will help to develop our character. Watch uplifting videos, listen to motivational and inspirational messages that will add to us. Gifts and talents are imparted when we sit still and listen and drink it in. It won’t just happen, we must make the growth of our character happen.
  3. Talents are a reflection of our character. The deeper our character, the deeper our talent. There are many people with no character who have great talents. Imagine how much greater their talent if they had great character! If we take the time to feed our inner man, the outward expression of what is going on inside will show.
  4. Character involves inner thoughts. We talk to ourselves constantly. It’s what we are saying that’s important. The greater our character, the greater the inner conversation. We must take time, along with read, listening or viewing motivational media, to sit still, be quiet and listen to our thoughts. We will begin to recognize how we are changing in our thought patterns, in our thought processes, and in our thought views.
  5. Character is exemplified in the choices that we make. We are living in the sum total of the choices that we have made to this point in our lives. Early on our bad character choices have taken us down one road and then perhaps were arrested by better character choices. The better the character choices the better our lives can become. That’s what keeps us going after good character, because we ultimately want better lives. To cut corners and scheme to achieve always ends in disaster and devastation and we all know people who have lived that life.

Character doesn’t show up in a person until there is character. Our values, motivations, feelings, and our actions all make up our character and many times we don’t see it right off. Others see it and evaluate it almost immediately. So to recognize if we have good character or not would depend on how often we have had to repeat a test. In other words, if the same test, issue or problem continues to arise, we must be making the same bad choices. We should not brag about the test until after we have passed it. We can improve on every floor or our character but we can’t change our foundation. Our fibers are permanent, but we can change the colors!

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Years ago I had this tall, beautiful 12ft Dumb Cain Plant that took me 20 years to grow.  It began to bend, as it continued to grow towards the skylight in the ceiling.

One day my plant had fallen and snapped. I had to cut the broken limb into ten chunks and placed each stump into mason jars, filled them with water and set them all in the window sill. As the weeks passed, I nursed them every day making sure they had the sunlight they needed to grow. They were all green and healthy and I knew that any day roots would begin to appear.

Not too many weeks later, in nine of the jars roots began to peek out from the sides of the each of the stumps and make their way to the bottom of the jar with tiny sprouts shooting up from the tops of each of the stumps. But one stump seemed to lag behind. However, they all were still green, still firm and as far as I could see still full of life.

Why did the nine other plants seem to thrive and leave the one behind? Was the sun partial to or the water fresher just for those nine? Did the one have low self-esteem? What makes us think others are greater or more valuable than we are? It just was not it’s time to grow and bloom.

We give ourselves permission not to progress. We accept “falsehoods” every day.  Even if we make them up, we accept them as the truth. In the privacy of our own mind we create these prisons and we lock ourselves away.

Falsehood #1. “I just don’t have that ability.” But what abilities do you have? What strengths do you possess? There is something you can do and do well. Find your strength,  figure out your talent and build on that. Nobody can be you but you. Only you can be you perfectly. To be like someone else is to be second best.

Falsehood #2.  “I’m not like you.” You were not meant to be like anybody else. You have your own thoughts and ideas, dreams and fashions. Whenever you get to the top of your own mountain is when you get there. Your pace is your pace. Hold your head up, square your shoulders and put one foot in front of the other and just do it!

Falsehood #3.  “I can’t do it!” Who told you that you can’t? Somewhere in the secrecy of your mind, you have convinced yourself that you are not worthy of completing the task in which you’ve started. Perhaps you are looking too far to the left or the right. Maybe you are trying to measure up to someone with whom you need not measure yourself against. God is the only one who is not expecting you to do more than he already knows you can do. Take the pressure off and just do. If you have fun in the do, you will surprise yourself how much you will get done!

Falsehood #4. “It doesn’t work for me.” It, the thing, the opportunity, the service…whatever it is can work for you if you decide to make it work for you. Look at it from another angle or work it from a different perspective. Get training from a wiser source and commit to figuring it out. If you use that as an excuse, chances are you have used it before and will continue to use it, thus not allowing yourself to explore all of the wonderful avenues that life has to offer. Any excuse will do when you don’t want to work.

Falsehood #5. “I don’t see how to do it.” Look, listen and learn from what you have already seen and previously heard. All of the necessary components are already in you.  Life is still in you.  Breathe. This is the time when you pay close attention to that small voice inside that will tell you which way to the surface. Follow the bubbles!

As the nine plants grew, their roots crowded out the little jars and they were ready to be given away to friends for planting. However, the one little stump was still just as smooth, just as green and just as root-less as when I placed it in the jar.

A few weeks after I had given all the other plants away, I looked at that lone stump and it had one little bud on the bottom. Days later that bud turned into a root and before long it, too had roots circling the jar. Not too many days after that there was a small stem that had broken through at the top. There was life after all in that stump.

The take away: Never count yourself out. Never count yourself done. So what others seem to be moving ahead or moving along, you are too. You don’t see what’s going on inside them and they can’t see what’s going on inside you. Everyone brings their own set of experiences, skills and histories to the table. And they have to work with their own baggage right there on the table. Don’t be preoccupied with their activity, only with your own. Life is in you and you will break through to the top if you just keep going.

Terri A. Simmons

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